Posts Tagged ‘love’

Posted on November 19, 2007 - by Administrator

When Mr Right Becomes Mr Wrong

Does his character rate as high as his physical attraction?

At the beginning of a relationship, that time when you meet someone and the chemistry starts buzzing between you, both of you are putting your best foot forward. It�??s only natural that we all want to show ourselves in the best possible light and, in the early stages of a romance, this is very easy. After all, most people can put on an act! However, its not so easy as the relationship develops and you get to know each other better. In short, we can only act for so long before our true self begins to emerge.

When two people first meet, it is as comparative strangers, so you know little or nothing about each other. And, very importantly, there have been no disagreements or discord between you because there is no history between the two of you; no knowledge of each others past, likes and dislikes, irritating habits, etc. Therefore, there is usually only joy in your heart towards each other in the early stages of a romance and your prime thoughts are centred on the chemistry that is buzzing between you and the wonderful future that you envisage sharing together.

As time passes and you spend more time together, the relationship develops and usually deepens. This inevitably forces you both to reveal more about yourselves and – here comes the crunch – your personality and character.

Now, heres the rub. In order for a relationship to deepen as well as develop (subtle difference here) you have to love someone warts and all. To do this, you have to like a persons character, which is the real person behind their personality.

Let me explain.

Personality and character are definitely not one and the same thing. For example, its possible for a person with a shy, timid personality to have the character of a gangster. And the character of a lying, cheating, conman may be camouflaged by a bubbly, fun personality.

Now you might be happy falling in love with a gangster or a conman. Thats your choice. You might even choose to stay with someone that you love, even though you might not actually like their character. I dont know.

What I do know is this. That unless you share the same morals, and have similar beliefs and values, then there is little chance that your relationship will be a long and happy one.

To have a successful relationship, its absolutely vital that you see, hear and feel things in the same way and that you share mutual goals in life.

If you dont, then your Mr Right is definitely Mr. Wrong.

Annie Roy-Barker is a psychotherapist and leading relationship coach, with an extraordinary ability to help you resolve your personal and relationship difficulties. Annie will motivate, guide and inspire you with her incredible techniques for enhancing your relationship, spicing up your love life, or getting your loved one back after a break up. Annies mission is your happiness and helping you get your love life right on line.