Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

Posted on November 19, 2007 - by Administrator

Christmas! A Time Of Peace And Goodwill – And Divorce!

Yes, its that time of the year again! The shops are bursting with Christmas goodies, our eardrums are traumatized with carols that blast from every loud speaker in town and fragile marriages are gearing up for operation divorce.

Yes. Divorce. That increasingly topical present that so many couples are choosing to give their spouses as a Christmas present nowadays. Now, isnt that a cheerless, life shattering gift to hand to the person that you promised to love till death do us part!

Lets face it. Theres no way you can prettily gift wrap such devastating news, lovingly place it under the Christmas tree, or see any delight in your spouses eyes when they receive that present.

So what is it about Christmas that makes it the precursor to the break up of a relationship? Somehow, it just doesnt seem possible that divorce can even be considered at this time of peace and goodwill; merrymaking and feasting; Christmas pudding, brandy sauce and the traditional mince pie. Does it?

Why is it, then, that your marriage may hit the buffers fast and hard during the festive season?

Heres why. The format of the festive season has totally changed. Its no longer the mere two day affair that I remember from my younger days. And, oh yes, if Christmas Day and Boxing Day happened to fall on a weekend, it was just jolly (if you’ll forgive the pun) hard luck as it was back to work on Monday, as usual.

Over the years, this short turkey and tinsel break has gradually been extended to the point where we can now expect the holiday to last for two weeks, encompassing the New Year celebrations. Thats fourteen continuous, and extremely long, days with which we humans are just too ill equipped to cope – particularly if the relationship you have with your partner is already in a fragile state.

The prolonged Christmas and New Year Break is definitely no friend of a rocky marriage. Your relationship needs to be very stable in order to survive the stresses and strains of being with your spouse, day in and day out (often indoors because its the middle of winter), entertaining, eating and drinking way beyond your normal routine, with the added hassle of socialising and pretending to enjoy yourselves with relatives you may actually dislike – and perhaps even secretly wish you may never have to see again.

Is it any wonder, therefore, that relationships crumble under the huge burden of Christmas? Yet, in fairness to the festive season, it cannot be held entirely responsible for the irretrievable breakdown of your marriage.

During my long experience as a relationship coach, (check out my website www.lovelifelines.com) Ive learnt that its highly unusual for a marriage to become a disaster zone overnight. It just doesnt happen that way. The love and affinity that glued you and your partner together will have become unstuck bit by bit, over time.

So, Im urging you to take a close look at your relationship right now and answer this question.

Do you believe that your marriage is stable enough to survive the long haul of Christmas?

If you answered yes Im sincerely delighted for you.

If you answered no and you want to improve your relationship, yet dont know how, then please contact me. Ill be delighted to help you. Youll find my contact details on my website www.lovelifelines.com.

Im wishing you happiness.

Annie Roy-Barker is a psychotherapist and leading relationship coach, with an extraordinary ability to help you resolve your personal and relationship difficulties. Annie will motivate, guide and inspire you with her incredible techniques for enhancing your relationship, spicing up your love life, or getting your loved one back after a break up. Annies mission is your happiness and helping you get your love life right on line.

Posted on November 2, 2006 - by Administrator

The Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce

If worse comes to worse, and divorce is the only option, keep in mind these divorce tips to make it as easy as possible on your children.

DO:
DO allow children to openly express their own feelings.
DO listen to your children and validate their feelings.
DO be honest (in an age appropriate way).
DO let children know about family changes such as visitation, and moving.
DO reassure your children that the divorce was not their fault.
DO emphasize the finality of the divorce.
DO spend quality time with each child.
DO be consistent with rules expectations.
DO protect your child from parental conflict.
DO provide a safe and stable environment.

DON’T:
DON’T assess blame. Children shouldn’t be taking sides.
DON’T talk negatively about the other parent.
DON’T use children as message carriers to the other parent.
DON’T overburden your children with emotional or financial concerns.
DON’T make excuses for the behavior of the other parent. Allow your child to see the other parent realistically.
DON’T make your child your confidant – remain the adult and parent.
DON’T allow your children to put themselves in the middle of adult conflicts.
DON’T discourage your child’s desire to have a relationship with the other parent or step-parent.

If you follow these few divorce tips, your children will have a much easier time dealing with your divorce.

Check out these recommended ebooks if you want more information on divorce.
If you are on the verge of divorce, Relationshipguide.net recommends this ebook. It has tons of information on saving your marriage, and will be very helpful!

If you are in the process of getting a divorce, check out this step by step guide to planning and executing your divorce.

And last but not least, if you are in a messy divorce (it happens), this ebook is a must have. It will show you how to legally save money in your divorce.