Posted on December 8, 2005 - by Administrator

How to Survive Meeting His Parents

You may not be looking forward to meeting your boyfriends parents for the first time but this is a crucial moment in your relationship and its very important that you make a good first impression. A woman may be apt to introduce her new boyfriend to her parents earlier in a relationship than a man introduces his girlfriend to his parents. This is because women talk more openly about their lives to their parents so they most likely view this meeting as just a chance for three important people in her life to get together and meet. Men, on the other hand, are less likely to talk openly to their parents so to them introducing their girlfriend is a monumental step that indicates that his new girlfriend is serious. While this is a huge step in a relationship, its important to remember that his parents are no different than any other people you have met in your lifetime, so just be yourself and you will survive this meeting unscathed.

Since this is such an important step in a relationship, its important to realize that your boyfriends parents also recognize the significance of this meeting and will be observing you closely during this meeting. However, dont let this intimidate you as your boyfriend already loves you so there is no real reason for his parents not to feel the same way. Understand that they will be scrutinizing you but also know that being yourself and not putting on any false airs is the best way to survive meeting his parents. If you have been true to yourself thus far in your relationship with your boyfriend then he already approves of your personality and character traits so dont be afraid to let the real you shine through when meeting his parents. They are most likely similar to him in personality so if he likes you rest assured that they will too as long as you are up front and honest with them.

In meeting your boyfriends parents for the first time, its important to let him take the lead in discussing the status of the relationship. While the two of you may have already begun discussing marriage or moving in together, he may not be ready to share this information with his parents yet. Dont make the assumption that he has already discussed your relationship with them and that he is comfortable letting them know what stage your relationship is at and what plans you have the future. Bringing up topics that he is not yet ready to share with his parents can make the situation awkward for everyone involved. Just follow his lead and dont offer any information about your future plans unless your boyfriend brings up the subject.

Another key to survive meeting his parents is to understand that he is allowed to be critical of them but you are not. Your boyfriend may complain incessantly about his parents but deep inside he knows that he loves them and is just venting about certain things that may bother him. He may leave their house after the meeting complaining about the way his mother asked a lot of nosy questions about your relationship but if you jump in and are critical of his mother he may quickly become defensive. Even if you are just agreeing with what he is saying, he may still be offended by your opinions. Understand that your boyfriend loves his parents and may be bothered by them at times but that it is not acceptable for you to be critical of them. Of course, if they do or say something outright to offend you, it is acceptable to stick up for yourself and let them know their words or actions are unacceptable.

Avoiding controversial issues is also critical to surviving meeting your boyfriends parents. Topics that elicit a highly emotional response are never a good idea when meeting someone new for the first time. If you have opposing viewpoints, then things can become heated and uncomfortable very quickly. Even if you feel the same way about the issue, it may lead to the topic dominating the conversation and the four of you not really getting a chance to talk about anything else or really get to know each other. Steering clear of emotionally charged issues when meeting your boyfriends parents will keep the meeting calm and help things to go smoothly.
Meeting your boyfriends parents is a critical step in a relationship. Wanting to introduce you to his parents lets them know that he considers the relationship to be pretty serious and that he is hoping that you can all get along. While he is not necessarily seeking their approval of you, knowing that you can get along with his parents can be a big step in your relationship. Many men are non-confrontational in their relationships so if its clear that you and his parents dont get along, he may become wary of your relationship because he doesnt want to end up spending a great deal of time getting the three of you to learn to get along. After all they have been a part of his life for a long time and will continue to be a part of his life so severing ties with you may be easier than doing so with them.