Posted on January 25, 2009 - by Administrator

Dating a Best Friend’s Sibling

What hot water we can find ourselves in when we realize that we have developed feelings for a best friend’s sibling. There is some unwritten rule that you just don’t become involved with family members of your best friend, and when those feelings are reciprocated, it seems like there can be some tough choices to make. The question is if you’re good enough for your best friend then why on earth wouldn’t you be good enough for their sibling? In most cases the answer is that you are good enough. People worry about the break up discomfort and having to choose sides when the relationship doesn’t last. Why everyone assumes that the relationship won’t last is another question for a whole other article.

Tread lightly in this territory but tread with intention. Another unwritten rule about a best friend’s sibling is that guys going after little sisters are just in it for the conquest. Check yourself. Is it true? If it’s not then you can’t really be accused of doing anything that you wouldn’t do if she was someone else’s little sister. Again, big brothers are often very protective of little sisters and don’t want to even consider the possibility that their little sister and their best friend might become sexually intimate. This is another example of becoming worried about something that just hasn’t happened yet.

Take it slowly and let those around you express their feelings. Alternatively, express yours. Maybe your best friend’s sibling is absolutely the most incredible thing that has happened in your life since you were born and it’s not a bad idea to be genuinely honest about that. It seems risky but it’s really not. Holding your emotions in when discussing the topic with your best friend might give the impression that this is a casual fling and someone might get hurt in the end.

People develop relationships with all kinds of people in their life. Keep your two relationships as separate as possible at first. Gradually mix social time and be willing to give up a little time with each so that everyone gets to see that you’re still the same person you were before this happened. You can’t help it if your best friend feels threatened. If your best friend is the opposite gender then you might want to explore if they are harboring feelings for you and that is a big part of their resistance. Although it’s not uncommon to find these feelings in same gender friendships as well.

If you develop true and honest feelings for a best friend’s sibling you aren’t doing anything wrong by exploring the possibilities that might be right in front of you. It happens more often than you think and families find ways to adjust and accept what is going on. Should the relationship end, there will be some discomfort while everyone readjusts. Overall, you can’t go wring by caring for someone and loving them as you would if they didn’t just happen to be your best friend sibling.