Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Posted on March 10, 2006 - by Administrator

Romantic Ideas For A Weekend Getaway

What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love! – Victor Hugo

Ah, nobody can agree more with that. Theres nothing greater than knowing that whatever you do keeps your loved one happy. But keeping it that way takes something more than the occasional dates and gifts for your partner. And one way to make it more special is to have the perfect weekend getaway with your partner.

Sure, nothing beats any moment spent entirely alone with your loved one. But wouldnt it be great to make that extra effort to keep him or her smiling for a long time? Here are a few ideas for a romantic weekend getaway:

Theres No Place Like Home.

Why not? Well, theres another way of taking that saying to a different level. Make arrangements for your kids to stay at your in-laws for the weekend. Keep off unwanted visitors and phone calls by letting everyone know that you will be away for the weekend. Have a marathon DVD movie viewing. Cook for your partner. Take a shower together. Give each other a good massage, or a satisfying body scrub. Turn an otherwise ordinary household errand into one big playtime with your partner.

Hotel R & R

If you dont have much time to make preparations, a quick call for reservation at a five-star hotel would do the job. With the hotels recreational activities, you will surely not run out of ideas to keep the level of excitement and entertainment up. Check out whats on the restaurants menu, take your breakfast-in-bed longer than usual, take a luxurious dip into the pool, and take a hot spa together. But before you forget the foremost reason why you checked in, make sure that you allot some time for your in-room activity together.

Weekend Workshops

There is a simple way to say I want to discover the whole world with you. Wouldnt it be great to learn something new together? Before you decide on what class or workshop to get into, consult and consider your partners suggestions. This would ensure that both of you would be doing something interesting for both of you. From drawing lessons, ballroom-dancing sessions to crafts class, there are many options to get on with a busy weekend. But if you want to make it more memorable, choose activities that are totally new for both of you. You will not only go home all satisfied and happy, but also more skilled and accomplished.

Nature Tripping

Mother Nature would never go wrong. Nothing beats romance amidst the splendor of natural beauty and breathtaking views. Check out the nearest beach resort near you and make arrangements for a weekend romp at the beach. Have your own picture-perfect moment by having dinner with a view of the sunset. Or if both of you are up for a good workout, go rock-climbing or hiking together. But be sure to experience the ultimately romantic outdoor stargazing, and let the moon and the stars do the talking.

Church or Community Retreats

What better way to profess your love by going through a relationship-enhancing session or retreat with your loved one? Although youll have less private time together, it is another way of getting to know and discover new things about each other. It is the perfect way to strengthen your relationship and the best time to make an affirmation of your commitment to one another in the presence of other people.

After any of those romantic weekend getaways, expect to get more hugs, kisses, and attention from your partner. But as the saying goes, love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give which is everything.

Posted on March 1, 2006 - by Administrator

Romantic Ideas And Tips For A First Date

Preparing for that big date? It takes more than nice clothes and a fancy dinner to make your date feel special. If you want to leave that lasting impression, here are some tips and ideas for a truly memorable date that would be hard to forget:

1. Having dinner is always the number one dating activity. But the key here is how to make it romantic. Giving your date flowers is always nice. Make sure that you have an idea of whats good and what isnt on the menu so that she wont regret eating out with you. A delicious meal leaves a lasting impression. Dont pretend to be an expert on food though as this might bore your date. To make a first date special, there can be other firsts you can set up. First time to try an exquisite dish, first time to drink a certain kind of wine, first time to eat with her hands, whatever, let your imagination run wild with this one. You can also connive with a waiter to do something different. Maybe he can make a public announcement like, Mr. John Doe would like to thank Miss Jane for granting him the pleasure of her company tonight. The key is to make this dinner different from all the dinners shes had in the past.

2. The next common dating activity would be going to a movie. Most girls go for romantic comedies. Its funny and mushy at the same time. Just dont keep grunting or yawning while youre watching. Shed appreciate it very much if you matched her enthusiasm, or at least, assure her that you dont think these movies are lame. Quoting lines from the movie afterwards wont hurt your chances either.
If you really cant stand romantic comedies, try a funny movie. Just make sure you dont end up snorting coke up your nose (I mean the soft drink, okay?). Its ideal to get a jumbo-sized serving of popcorn that the two of you can share. Not only do you get to brush your hand with hers, shell see you as a generous date.

3. Do something shes never tried before. But only if shes up to it and only if you know how to go about that certain activity. As said earlier, something that sets this first date apart gives you an edge. Teach her how to ice skate and hold her hand steady as she tries to balance herself. Play mini-golf, teach her the proper swing and let her win some times. Play billiards and talk strategies on how to get the ball in, looking deep into her eyes. Be sensitive enough though to figure out when shes getting tired and dont let her feel frustrated. Do something stupid, like swinging the golf ball backwards, just to make her laugh. If she isnt enjoying this particular activity, you can always go to a nice restaurant

4. Go to a theme park or a carnival. Surely, there will be loads that you can do and, unless she is too sophisticated for this, she will surely enjoy this date. Its not everyday you get to ride the Ferris wheel, play arcade or carnival games, eat cotton candy, reminisce on the merry-go-round ride or scream wildly on the roller coaster. This is a chance to be like kids again and just have good clean fun. Just make sure that you will be a gentleman and will help her get up on rides, hold her hand when she gets scared, guide her through the game booths, and of course, win her some prizes. No matter how corny prizes you get, she will surely appreciate these as you have won these for her.

5. Talk. But dont just blabber away. Talk WITH your date. Conversation is important as the point of the date is to get to know someone and enjoy their company. Believe it or not, good conversation is a real turn-on. Deliver compliments. Compliments are always good, and if delivered the right way, very romantic. As long as youre sincere and do not go overboard, your date will be repeating your words over and over in her head days after your first date.

6. Lastly, a kiss on the cheek or the hand is an appropriate way to end the date. Make sure you tell your date how much you enjoyed the date, and ask her out again, if you really did. Tell her what kind of impression she has made on you, and make sure its an ego-boosting one. Youll likely have a second date if youve treated her well and made her feel better about herself.

 

Posted on February 21, 2006 - by Administrator

On Finding Mister Right

Indeed, women outnumber men, 3 to 1. With this ratio, there are not that many guys running around. But this shouldnt mean that women should settle for the first guy they would see. The rule is: always strive to find your ideal mate. There are qualities that you should look for, and these would ensure a happy, fruitful, and fulfilling relationship.

Here are some virtues that the right man must possess:

1. Chivalry is not dead. Every woman wants to be treated like a queen and a guy who still opens doors and pulls up the chair for you is most guaranteed to treat you nice and take good care of you.

2. Look at how he treats the girls in his family and it will give you a glimpse of how he will treat you. If he treats his sisters and mother kind and well, and has a great deal of respect for them, it is likely that you will be treated well and respected too.

3. Choose a guy who isnt afraid to look un-macho. This means that he is secure of himself and will understand your feelings, as he can also be in touch with what we call that feminine side of his. He isnt afraid to show his emotions so both of you can be more open to one another about each others feelings. Make sure he can control his emotions though. You dont want a guy who cries more often than you do or breaks down before you do.

4. Go for a man with an ambition, or a passion. You would know that he has a certain drive and this can lead him to succeed. This assures you that he can take charge and take responsibility, and provide well for you and your family. Choose one who isnt easily defeated or pessimistic about the things that come his way.

5. Find a man who is confident and knows how to carry himself. He doesnt try too hard to look the part but he simply tries to be presentable and charming enough. This wont make you dread that time when you have to introduce him to your family and friends.

6. Find a man who can make you laugh! Life will no doubt badger you with different trials and problems. Though it is important for you to be with someone who has to be serious enough to deal with all these, it is just as important to have someone who can take your mind away from all of it. Laughing is also a very wonderful feeling that leaves you optimistic and ready to take on anything. Plus you are sure to enjoy a lifetime with this person and not become bored.

7. It is ideal that you and your man share the same values. This way, if ever you encounter problems, you can avoid conflicts stemming from drastically different perspectives. In addition, a guy must be open-minded too.

8. Make sure that he also intellectually stimulates you and can keep up his end of the conversation. This keeps you on edge, apart from the attraction you have for each other. Plus youll never get bored with a man who constantly feeds your mind.

9. Do everything you can think of to test whether he is faithful to you or not. Loyalty is very important to women and for most of us, love equates to trust. If this is a problem, you can be sure that the relationship will crumble into pieces.

10. Lastly, he must have a great tolerance level for you. You can be experiencing PMS and all hell can break loose. Therefore, find a man who understands you as a woman and one who will still patiently love you.

Posted on February 15, 2006 - by Administrator

On Finding Miss Right

Relationships fail because of your wrong choice of partner. Not that your partner would prove imperfect, mind you, but the synergy between you and her might not be healthy enough to carry what should be a healthy relationship. Your choice of partner should be guided by what would complement your expectations best. These qualities should be known beforehand, so that you may know what to look for in a woman before you even start dating.

Here is a sample list of things to look for in Miss Right.

1. Find a woman who will take good care of you, but will also let herself be taken cared of. Especially in this day and age when even women are focused with their own careers, it would still be nice to find a woman who can find the time to take care of you and your family. A woman basically knows how to nurture and care for others. To know that this wont be neglected once you are in the relationship is most comforting. However, she must also let you take care of her. Some women tend to take the nurturing role to the point of being a martyr. Make sure she doesnt do this because this is potentially damaging not only to her but also to the relationship and, if ever, your family. With men struggling to be true to the role of provider and protector, a woman must let a man do his part. This will further boost a mans confidence as this shows how the woman is certain that the man he loves is worthy of her vulnerability.

2. Choose a woman who can be independent and is fairly confident. No man needs a clingy creature, sometimes to the point of being an irritating nag, to keep him on a choke hold. A woman who knows her own strengths, uses her head and voices out her opinions is very much attractive. After all, you are looking for a partner in life, and not a baby. You need someone who you will treat as an equal, whom you respect, and in turn, will respect you. She also has to be able to downplay her insecurities and be able to resolve them, by accepting that she is imperfect, but she is a jewel as well. She must know how to stand on her own and be able to be happy and have fun even without you.

3. Make sure that she also intellectually stimulates you and can keep up her end of the conversation. The bimbo image will no longer result to lasting relationships. This keeps you on edge, apart from the attraction you have for each other. Plus youll never get bored with a woman who constantly feeds your mind.

4. If a girl can be comfortable around the people around you, whether they be your beer buddies, business partners or your own family, then you will definitely enjoy her company. More importantly, if she wins the thumbs up of friends and family, then you can be sure she can stay with you for a very long time.

5. Whether you take a girl to eat at a hotdog stand or you take her to the fanciest restaurant, if she isnt bothered about what she eats or where she is but she can act as if she belongs in that place, then congratulations! You have found a girl you will never be ashamed of. She enjoys the simple treats you give her and she can also enjoy an elegant setting, without you having to constantly point out which silverware she has to use. She would also know how to relate to people of different social standing.

6. Find a woman who can trust you (assuming of course that you are worthy of that trust). A woman being jealous every now and then is acceptable, but dealing with constant paranoia? Not good. Just make sure that you will never ever break her trust because you can be sure she will never make you forget it.

7. It is rare to find a woman who truly understands a man: his need for space, constant ego boosts and his pride. So at least, find a woman who would be willing to understand, and would not constantly complain. Not only will this give you less headaches, you will feel less likely to just push each other way to avoid conflict.

8. She accepts you for who you are. And I mean everything about you, including the fact that you can be icky at times. You might smell bad, get a big beer belly, sweat a lot or snore so loudly, she would still stay, love you and still consider you her prince charming.

9. Lastly, she provides motivation and inspiration to you. This alone is an indication that she is Ms. Right. No wonder how cheesy it sounds, with her around, it makes you want to be a better man.

Posted on February 12, 2006 - by Administrator

Moving On After A Breakup

The breakdown of a relationship is not an easy matter to deal with. Its bad enough that you have to let go of a person you love, its even worse that you were caught off guard and is the one being dumped. You coop yourself up inside your bedroom, refuse to talk with your friends, and cry like youve never cried before. Or if youre the resilient type, after a brief crying session, you hook up with friends and party like theres no tomorrow. People might have different ways of coping with a relationship breakdown, but basically, you go through the same process of mourning, acceptance, and moving on.

First of all, allow yourself to mourn your loss. Letting out a good cry would be a good release for the confusing mix of pain, anger, or longing that you might be feeling at the moment. Seek out a friend who would be willing to listen to you unload your emotional burden. Or you may opt to take this time all to yourself.

As they say, after the storm comes the sun. Its time to get out of your foxhole. Start the healing process by accepting the fact that the relationship has ended. Make an affirmation of this reality by facing the mirror and telling yourself that everything will be okay from now on, the way you would tell a friend the same thing. But do be honest with yourself and do not deprive yourself of a good cry on occasional bouts of depression.

Acceptance does not mean that you have to blame somebody, even yourself, for the fallout. The relationship is over, and no amount of blame or finger pointing would make you feel any better. Doing so would only force you to put the blame on either one of you, seeing the whole thing in a negative viewpoint, and keeping you from moving forward.

Do not let a failed relationship scar you for life. Move on. Buoy yourself up. Start loving yourself again. Go out with friends, or spend more time with your family. Take that dream vacation youve been putting off for some time now. Buy yourself a good book, a great dress, or the latest DVD movie. In short, start living your life anew.

Sooner or later, breakups would pave the way to new relationships for you and your ex. Prep yourself up for the eventuality of seeing him or herself with someone else. In case you do, you might be surprised to feel stabs of jealousy when you thought all along that you have already moved on. Suppress, but do acknowledge the feeling because it is normally a part of your healing process.

Do you have to get rid of the gifts, pictures and other things that would remind you, in any way, of your ex? While it may give you a physical closure, doing so would not necessarily put up a stamp of finality to your past. Keep those things for a while, and decide on what to do with it later.

If you do start dating, make sure that you know what your intentions are. Are you ready for another relationship? Or are you going out for friendly dates for now? At this point, it would be fairly easy to fall into that love-on-the-rebound trap. If you do get to know someone, on friendly terms or more, be sure that you know your own intentions right from the start.

Relationships do not have to end in bitter terms. Save your friendship, or at least be civil to your ex. Its a small world and sooner or later, you would bump into each other again. And that does not discount the possibility of rekindling your relationship with him or her in the future.

Posted on February 6, 2006 - by Administrator

WAITING FOR THE ONE?

Most Dating Myths Are False

Theres no such thing as a fairytale romance. You wont leave your glass slippers somewhere. And you dont have to wait for the proverbial Prince Charming to seek you out and try if the shoe would fit. Throughout the years, many romance myths have been formulated, conditioning our minds to accept that love is worthy of all the commercialized holidays designed to capitalize on the same. Love has been glorified with so much grandeur in tales and movies and popular culture. This, of course, created some problems. Often do people view love as magical, and often does it fail to live up to its hype. People were led to believe in fantastic stories waiting to be told, and seldom would they be able to prepare themselves for eventual tragedies that would be suffered along the way.

Below are some false beliefs about romance. With this article, it is hoped that they would be demystified so that we may realize what love truly is.

* Theres no such thing as destiny. You cannot simply wait for the one whom fate has planned for you. Its an ages old argument. Once you believe in destiny, you believe in predestination. This renders the concept of free will as moot. The decisions you make on a daily basis wont matter, since everything is preordained. Thus is the danger of this dating myth. Believing in destiny and reveling as it unfolds may look good on the silver screen, but in reality, it could produce some disastrous effects. You would need a positive act and whole lot of adjustments to find the right partner. You dont wait for destiny. Rather, you forge your own tale.

* Theres no such thing as a soul mate. Though most spiritual schools of thought do not preclude this idea, they do not promote it as well. Kindred spirits are the stuff of historical romance novels. Time is temporal as it is relative. Love does not endure the ages. It is something we should savor, and care for, while we are alive. After all, how could we breathe affection if we dont have any more breath to take?

* Theres no such thing as the perfect partner. Perfection is a quality that mortals are deprived of. Imperfection is in fact the very essence of our humanity. Its the reason we strive. Its the reason why we try to make ourselves better persons. Its the reason why we constantly try to improve ourselves. Looking for the perfect partner is an exercise in futility. Even if you find the person most compatible to your own personality, some situations would call for some conflict, one way or another. Its because no two persons are ever alike, and with differences come misunderstandings. The trick is in how we work out these differences to strengthen our relationships.

* To say that love is unconditional would be nave. Its all about what is good for us. Though we may find someone for whom we could pledge our life, theres no use sticking with such a relationship when it becomes unhealthy. Believing in the unselfishness of love has brought about many social ills. Domestic violence is tolerated because of a strong adherence to such a fallacious principle. Verbal abuse is dismissed as nothing for the same reason. If a relationship is good for you, stick with it. Fight for it. But the moment it becomes harmful, leave immediately. Sacrificing yourself for the person you love entails the right reasons. Tolerating abuse is not, and should not, be one of them.

* You dont look for love, love will find you. Though this isnt exactly a false statement, it does have its shares of problems. It promotes non-action and idleness, when a more active lifestyle is what is needed to better our chances of finding an ideal mate. Indeed, you dont have to look for love. It will strike your heart eventually. But you should not sit still and wait for love to find you. Be visible and social, and you would be able to greatly expedite the process.

Posted on February 4, 2006 - by Administrator

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Many people claim that one of the biggest obstacles that work against what should be a healthy relationship is distance. Being physically apart is hard enough, what more when a couple has to contend with thousands of miles between them? He or she may be in another state, or worse, in another country. And this can cause some problems for people who, by nature, need some affection and care.

But if love can move mountains and could make us reach and grab the stars or swim the seven seas if love can cause the building of strong empires and the destruction of formidable ones if love does conquer everything then what is distance? Surely, its something that love true love that is can easily deal with, right?

If you are currently engaged in a long distance relationship, then here are some things you might want to consider to make it work. Indeed, a long distance relationship CAN work, and it CAN prove to the world that love, truly, knows no boundaries.

* Trust. Trust is an essential component of a healthy and lasting relationship. You just have to believe in your partner that he or she would do the right thing. Trust becomes doubly important when he or she is in a faraway land. Dont allow yourself to drown in a sea of uncertainty every night, thinking about his or her treacherous tendencies. You have to believe in him or her. You have to believe in the love you guys share. Without trust, a relationship would easily crumble.

* Honesty. Just because your partner is many miles away, such shouldnt mean that you could start being dishonest. Honesty begins with you. Share with your partner the events of your day. Tell him or her about your thoughts and ideas about certain matters. Never embellish your stories, nor should you deliberately leave out important details. The things you would share many not always be happy news, but you have to be honest. They may be painful, they may be depressing, but though ignorance is bliss, your partner deserves to know. Once you have practiced this, your partner would do the same for you. How could he or she not? An honest disposition deserves the same honesty as reward.

* Keep the communication channels open. A decade ago, long distance relationships suffered because of the dearth of communication channels. Couples situated as such were only left with snail mails and expensive phone calls. These days, technology has made things easier for people engaged in long distance relationships. Not only can they exchange instantaneous emails, they could also chat in real time through the internet. Also, voice and video correspondence has been made possible by the same technology. And if these arent enough, long distance couples can also resort to their mobile phones. Most telecommunication providers over SMS or text messaging, which is quite an affordable way of keeping in touch with a loved on who is far away.

* Set a date for your actual meeting. Lets face it. We can live with long distance relationships because we know they wont last forever. There will come a time when he or she has to move in with you, or vice versa. Set a specific date for such an occasion. Make this your goal. This would give you something to look forward to, and it would help you deal with the loneliness that may be caused by excessive yearning for the person you hold dear in your heart.

* Do something special for each other. Just because youre miles apart doesnt mean that youre left with no recourse but to keep your affections in check. You could express those affections in a variety of ways. Send a video or an audio package which the other can listen to during those lonely spells. But him or her a shirt or an item that would always remind him or her of you. Write him or her an actual, tangible letter that he or she could read before going to bed. With the many courier services plying their trade in this day and age, deliveries can be effectuated fast and conveniently.

Long distance relationships dont always have to end in tears. You could make it work, or as long as both parties have their hearts in the right place.

Posted on January 30, 2006 - by Administrator

How To Avoid Date Rape

Dating is meant to be fun. Its a chance to get to know new people and explore romantic possibilities with them. Its an opportunity to go out and enjoy new experiences and forge delightful memories.

Sadly, some people do take advantage of the situation.

Indeed, because most women extend a certain degree of trust to their dates, some unscrupulous individuals use this as an opening to impose their carnal desires upon the hapless victim. Date rape is an ever-growing social ill that increases by the number with each passing year. Statistics show that women who are between the ages of 16 and 24 are 4 times more prone to date rape.

So how would you be able to avoid date rape? Here are some essential tips.

* Limit your drinking. Its alright to drink alcoholic beverages but dont take in too much to the point of losing your clear perception of things. 90% of date rape cases occur when the victim is drunk. Its because in drunken stupor, people are at their weakest. They wont be able to fight back and protect themselves against transgressors who are violating their rights. So drink in moderation. Have fun without feeling the need to pass out.

* Keep your distance. A little flirting and a little intimacy may be fun, but dont overdo it to the point of surrendering yourself to your date. Always keep a safe distance so that youd have the space to prepare yourself against any potential attacks. 84% of women who have been date raped say that they know their attackers. So even if he has been a great friend for many months, you can never be too sure. Its better to be safe than sorry, so dont ever, ever forget to always be on the lookout for danger signs.

* Consider going on a group date. Date rapes are less frequent happenings when there are more than two people who go out together. Youd feel more secure when youve got some female companions. You could always watch each others back.

* The ride home is the most critical phase of the dating process. 88% of date rapes happen on the way home. If you could, try to secure a ride with a female companion, or at the very least, make sure that you have a trusted friend with you once your date decides to take you home.

* Know your rights. For women above 18, rape is defined as forcible penetration of any part of the mans body on the womans openings. By forced, the law means that the woman has disagreed to such an act. However, this may not always be expressed. A sexual act on an unconscious woman can also be considered as rape, since she is devoid of reason. The same goes for a woman who is under the influence of a sedative or a drug that induces hallucination or extreme moods. You have sole rights to your body, remember that. No one can violate your territorial space without your consent.

* Carry a pepper spray, a mace, or other self-defense objects with you. It is a given fact that males possess more physical strength than females. They can easily overpower you with brute force. Protective objects can help level the playing field.

Date rapes can be avoided, for as long as proper precautions are observed. Realizing the problem and the fact that it can possibly happen to you is the first step. You have to acknowledge the fact that date rape can happen to anyone, so that youll always be on your guard. Then and only then will you be able to accept the need for the precautions we have enumerated above.

Posted on January 29, 2006 - by Administrator

How Do You Know Its Love?

Sometimes, we develop a particular fondness for the person were dating. We just cant stop thinking about him/her, even after many, many hours savoring his/her company. We are left in a quandary about our feelings, and certain queasiness pervades our days. Then we ask ourselves the question: have we fallen in love with that person?

Love is indeed a wonderful thing. But it is something that we should be certain about, least we spend many sleepless nights in deep thoughts and confusion. Sadly, determining the veracity of love is not always easy. Sometimes, a deep infatuation is equated with the same.

So how do we know that its love real love that is? What could we be sure that the other person is not only the object of our thoughts, but the object of our hearts as well? Here are some signs that would help us say that what were feeling is indeed love.

1. When, at the beginning of the day, you are already filled with thoughts of the other person: what he/she is doing, how he/she looks, what you could do to make him/her smile today when something good or nice happens to you, you always think of how you must share this with him/her, be it a funny story or a moment of your triumph. You always wish that he/she would be right there with you, but even if he/she isnt, its okay because you know that soon you will be together and you anticipate that. No moment, no matter how dull it seems like simply watching TV together, is ever a wasted moment. Every minute counts when youre with that person.

2. You become selfless. And you start thinking more about what would be good for the other person, than what would be good for you. Your ultimate happiness is to be able to make that other person happy, whether it is with you or with another person. You take care of him/her and you keep looking out for him/her. Be reminded however that making the other person happy does not include inflicting or causing harm to yourself or being untrue to yourself. You dont ask that person to do sacrifices for you either, such as doing stuff you asked them to do just to prove their love to you.

3. You start to think of how it would be to be with this person forever and you relish that dream or feeling. The thought of spending the rest of your lives together is not seen as being stuck with another person, but is considered to be a very wonderful idea.

4. Even if there are other people who are more beautiful or attractive, you still choose to be with this person. This means your commitment to this person is absolute. You have fully and undeniably decided to be with only him/her no matter what. It is not only love, but also devotion.

5. There is passion and fireworks, even after the infatuation period of six months. If you have been together for such a long time now, but arent bored out of your minds yet and can still feel the fire burning simply because you keep it burning (and this requires dedication and effort), is a clear indication that love is still shared between two people.
6. There is a desire to understand each other, even at the biggest of arguments. You continue to communicate openly and do not harshly judge each other. You accept each others faults and shortcomings. For example, no matter how fat she gets and no matter how much he drools when he sleeps, you still stay and love the person. Also, you stay true and honest to that person.

7. There is a great deal of respect, admiration and trust for this person. And she/he has earned it well.

Posted on January 28, 2006 - by Administrator

Five Dating Nightmares To Avoid

Dating should be fun and it should be a precursor to more wonderful things. The promise of romance is blooming, and theres no better feeling than waking up every morning in anticipation of your next date and the many wonderful things they entail.

But not all dates would prove wonderful. In fact, some dates already have telltale signs of disasters waiting to happen. Its all about the person youre dating, you see. If he or she exhibits some signs that are quite telling of an unhealthy relationship that may arise out of the date or dates you will have with him or her, then it would be more prudent to avoid them as early as possible.

What are these signs? More particularly, what are these types of people that you should not entertain any romantic inclinations with?

* A person on the rebound. Yup, were talking about a guy or a gal who just came from a heartbreaking relationship. Chances are, he or she would just be looking for a spare tire, someone who would make him or her forget about his or her recent relationship. Whats wrong with that, you might ask? Well, a relationship is all about appreciating each other. How could your partner appreciate the totality of your being when his or her mind is still dwelling on his or her previous relationship?

* A megalomaniac. He or she would be easy to pinpoint. During a date, a megalomaniac would talk about nothing but himself or herself. Sure, he or she might listen to what you have to say, but will he or she be paying any attention? Just as quickly as he or she would lend his or her ears, a megalomaniac would almost, always talk about himself or herself once more. A relationship is supposed to be a mutual thing. What good is a partner whos more concerned about his or her affairs than yours, right?

* The conditional date. Theyre the ones who are so fixated with technicalities. What would we call ourselves? Sweetheart, darling, baby or honey? This should be an open relationship, meaning, were together but were free to date whomever we want to go out with. I could only meet you every weekend, past 5 p.m. They impose so many things on relationships which have yet to be finalized. And often, you get the losing end of the stick. Do not be swayed by their tactics. Impose what you want as well, give them a piece of your mind. If theyre cool with it, then swell. But if theyre not, youre better off with someone else.

* The freeloader. This is applicable for guys from whom some chivalry is expected. Going Dutch is alright. Treating him once or twice is acceptable. But him asking you to pay for the bill every time? Such would be quite telling of what relationship you could expect from the guy. Will you be alright with the thought of being his sugar mommy?

* The bore. Whereas a megalomaniac cant keep his or her mouth shut, a bore would find some difficulty opening his or hers. A date should be fun, and it should promise a wonderful and exciting relationship, should you choose to pursue one. What good is a relationship if your date is a bore? Youll just end up falling asleep in his or her company.

Indeed, dates should be treated as a trial run for a possible relationship with the person we are going out with. When such a person shows some signs that manifest any of the personality types we have discussed above, you better think twice. You wouldnt want to get stuck in an affair that might prove unfruitful after all, right?

Posted on January 25, 2006 - by Administrator

Decoding A Guys Language

So, you just dated a hunk of a guy whom you find very attractive and very intellectually stimulating. He was such a gentleman, and he treated you well. Hes got all the attributes youre looking for in a lifelong partner, and you want him and you want him bad. But as with everything else associated with the initial phase of the dating game, uncertainties abound. You dont know if he could reciprocate the level of interest you have for him. All you have are thoughts of him, as well as the memories of the date that was.

What you would do for some piece of mind, eh? Luckily, the signs you need are all there, encrypted in some form or another, waiting to be decoded. The certainty youre looking for can be found in these signs, and all you have to do is to take some time to study them, and muster enough courage to accept what may not be favorable for your desires. But who knows, right? He might be into you after all.

So, what are these signs, and how, exactly, could you decode them?

* He said that hell call but he didnt. This may go either way. He may be buying his time so that hell give you the impression that hes not interested, which would heighten the surprise when he does reveal his true feelings for you. Or he may not be interested with you. Prepare yourself for any eventuality.

* He called as soon as he got home. Rejoice, girl! Youve got a connection! Play your cards right, and hes in the bag!

* He called even before he could get home. Wow! You dont have to play your cards right this time. Hes very much into you, and he cant wait to see you again. The ball is in your court now. It will all depend on how long or how fast you would allow the courting process to take.

* He talked about himself most of the time during dinner. Again, this may go either way. He may be a natural egomaniac who can think of nothing else but himself. Or he may be trying to impress you with what he believes are his better qualities. Or he finds you interesting, but he sees you as someone who would spare some time for his grand tales of personal accomplishments.

* He talked about himself most of the time during dinner, even when youre about to share your thoughts with him. Uh-oh. This is a definite danger sign. You have a certain megalomaniac at hand. Stay away as early as possible.

* He said something similar to youre a good friend. Its a euphemism for sorry, I just cant see you and me together. Take a hint and abandon all hopes. Hes not just into you, but hes too polite not to say it straight to your face.

* He said something similar to youre like a sister to me. Same as above, albeit in a friendlier, more affectionate language.

* He didnt offer to take you home. Forget it. The date was tortuous for him, and hes happy its over and done with.

* He kept taking those bathroom breaks. This could go in either of three ways. First, he may be married or is otherwise committed, hence hes been excusing himself to place a call to his wife or girl. Second, he may be too bored with your company and he preferred pacing around in between your conversations. Or third, he must be suffering from a severe case of diarrhea.

The signs you need are right in front of you. Sometimes, though, they may be too much to bear that we choose not to notice them. Dont allow yourself to feel depressed in the event that hes not interested with you. There are a lot of guys out there. Failing to win his heart only means that someone better is meant for you.

Posted on January 24, 2006 - by Administrator

Dating A Married Man

First, a disclaimer: considering the sensitivity of the topic, you are hereby warned that what youre about to read might not be pleasant to your beliefs. Some of the things that will be discussed in this article may be painful. Some may be considered as improper. Some may even be dismissed as condemnable. But the truth is, affairs with married men are a reality. And this article is being written for the party who is often left neglected in similar discussion about this subject: the other woman.

Now, if you find yourself under such a situation, then you know whats happening. Your friends have told you what to expect. Your family, or at least the members who know of your predicament, have told you to desist from the same. You may have resorted to some professional help and they were all in unison in saying that you shouldnt. But you didnt listen to them. You believe that the heart perceives the truth, and your heart is telling you to fight for your love.

So what is the best advice for a woman in an affair with a married man?

Dont.

In the event, however, when such a universal advice is not heeded, how are you supposed to deal with such a relationship? Surely, dating a partner who is already to his wife and family isnt an easy experience to endure. Hence, here are some things which you should realize, consider, and observe.

* There are many people involved, more than just the two of you. You would have to deal with the guilt of inflicting emotional pain on his spouse and kids. Though you could convince yourself that what they dont know wouldnt hurt them, the fact is that what youre doing would most certainly ruin them. When youre playing with hearts, youre playing with lives, and such is a very sensitive matter. Many lives are destroyed because of the pains of the heart.

* Dating a married man entails a lot of restrictions. You cannot be seen in public places together. He could only call when he could find the time away from his family and friends. You cannot visit him at the workplace. These can be too much to bear for anyone.

* Dating a married man entails a lot of sacrifices. Though you should be hailed for the capacity of your heart to extend such amount of love, you will receive no praises. You cannot have him all for yourself, you know that much. And though it takes an extraordinary kind of love to pursue such a course, you will still encounter a lot of pains along the way.

* Dating a married man could possibly stigmatize you with a lot of condemnable titles. Hence, another reason why you should keep the affair a secret. This could be too much to take for most people. You will have to muster enough internal fortitude to deal with this kind of life.

* Dating a married man has a high possibility of being pointless if hes not even contemplating on leaving his spouse. And even if he is indeed thinking about filing a divorce, you would still have to live with the guilt of being a party to a process that ruined a family.

You are not being judged in this article. The situation is already there, and we have to deal with it. With this article, we merely collated and presented some truths which you should know, or truths which you already know though youd rather not think about them.

But as they say, regret is the act of realizing things belatedly. Conjure enough strength to face the true issues, and perhaps, you wont have to regret the acts you are doing today.

Posted on January 24, 2006 - by Administrator

Good Intentions?

Danger Signs That Would Indicate That Your Date Has Less Then Noble Intentions
Dating should be fun. Its a chance to get to meet other people and explore romantic possibilities with them. Enjoyable times can be experienced. Engaging in an activity with someone else is far better than engaging in activities by yourself, after all. Dating would allow you this luxury, and it could also promise many joys and many memories that you could savor for a long, long time, especially when you go out with someone you like.

But dating should also serve a more important purpose. Remember, the reason why youre going out with someone is to test the waters for a possible relationship. The things your date will show you during the times you spend together can be telling of what kind of partner he would be.

Lets take a look at some danger signs you should be wary of, so that you may avoid the wrong partner as early as possible.

* Is he begging for some intimacy during your very first date? He may be after something else, and once he gets it, he would lose interest in being with you. Some people view dating as a game of hunters and preys. Theyd rather be the ones who would hunt and once their prey falls into their traps, theyd just dismiss them almost immediately.

* Did he come up with all sorts of excuses to make you pay for dinner? Like how he forgot his wallet, or how he has to send his siblings to school being that he is the breadwinner of the family? Uh-oh. You might have a freeloader at hand. He might be after your wallet instead of your personality. And he might find your bank account a more stimulating topic than your thoughts.

* Does he talk about himself 95% of the time? He may be an egoistic person who might just take you for granted once you enter a relationship with him. If you dont want to be taken for granted, it would be wise to avoid such a person as a partner.

* In the same light, does he show little interest about what you have to say? He may be more interested about his own stories than yours. In which case, you have reason to believe that youve got a megalomaniac for a date. A relationship should be a two way street. If he wants to do all the talking, and if he expects you to do all the listening, then such might not prove healthy.

* How were his table manners? This would reflect on how he lives his life. If hes too meticulous about where to eat, what to feast on, and how to enjoy your meals, then theres that possibility that youre dating an obsessive-compulsive fellow. Not that being OC is bad, but you have to ask yourself if such a person is the right fit for you. If he ate before your order arrived, or if he displayed some rather obnoxious behavior while having dinner, you might have a sloppy Joe as a date, and you should prepare your mind to do all the household chores once he moves in to your place, or vice versa. Again, you have to think if such a person is the right partner for you.

* Try to consider his other manners as well. Does he assist you in crossing the street? Does he open the door for you? Does he pull the chair to help you sit down? If he does not exhibit these traits, its alright. Though a little chivalry would be nice, its quite a lot to expect in this day and age of empowerment. But if he wantonly neglects the most basic of courtesies, then you may have to think twice whether or not you should engage in a relationship with him.

 

Posted on January 22, 2006 - by Administrator

Courting A Girl Online

Internet dating has become an acceptable process throughout the years. After all, the internet has been with us for a decade now, and all the things it has made possible have become quite common in this day and age, even if some of them were once considered as taboo. Indeed, internet dating was once labeled as a social abnormality that people who cant find dates in real life resort to for their romantic needs. This gave rise to the general belief that internet daters are a physically unattractive lot.

Of course, such misconception has been dispelled throughout the years. Beautiful people can be found online, and their grace shines inside and out. With the majority of the world having access to the internet, online dating has become a very popular alternative for many, many people, and dabbling in this field can really make you meet a lot of people.

And supposing you do find the girl of your dreams online, how are you supposed to woo her? How are you supposed to win her love and affection?

Here are some tips you could use to hook up with such a wonderful girl youll get to meet online.

* Consistency is the key. On the internet, people can disappear like a bubble easily. All you have to do is to stop replying to her emails, or to create a new account which you could use for chatting purposes. Naturally, shell have some reservations, given these dangers. Youll have to assure her that youre not that type of person, and that youll be there for the long run.

* Make her feel special. Though youre limited to online means, youre still blessed with a lot of devices that you could use to make her feel loved. Send her an email everyday, with each correspondence chronicling the events of your hours as well as your thoughts about her. Better yet, send her an electronic greeting card to show her that shes always in your thoughts. Snail mails would also have such great impact in this day and age, as people are more accustomed to receiving digital liaisons. Having a real, tangible letter than she could read before she goes to sleep is something extraordinary these days. You could even send her real gifts, like stuffed toys, pillows, perfumes and the likes. Courier services abound everywhere, or you could do some online shopping and have the items delivered to her doorsteps.

* Always ask how shes doing. Its a way of showing her that you care about her welfare. Ask her how her day went. Ask her about how an important meeting was conducted. Ask her about her dog, if need be. Ask her anything, just to show that youre very much interested with her.

* Try to remember all the details she will share. Girls dig that. They would feel very special when a guy remembers the things they tell them. She would know that youre listening to whatever shes saying, and this would make her feel closer to you.

* Always be polite. Respect her. Realize that she cant be online the whole day, so be thankful for the time she extends to you. This would reflect your personality quite favorably, as shell see you as a kindhearted and gentle lad.

* You could do a lot of activities together even if youre limited to online means. You could play an online game, either cooperative or competitive. You could explore the same websites together. You could post on forums about subjects youre both interested with. Or you could even write an interactive novel together, with each party taking turns in determining the outcome of the piece. This would provide some bonding sessions between you and her, and would greatly contribute to the closeness you desire.

Cyber relationships would provide a lot of wonderful moments. But do not forget the futility of it all if you would keep an online relationship simply online. At some point, you have to meet each other in the real world so that you could get to experience a relationship as it is meant to be.

Posted on January 21, 2006 - by Administrator

Five Questions About Dating For The Youth Of Today

Dating is a fun, engaging and sometimes even essential activity for any person who is looking for some romantic possibilities to explore. Dating isnt only a part of the mating game, it is a venue for some enjoyable and memorable times in itself. Towards the end of our adolescent years, we always look forward to that time when we will be allowed to go out with members of the opposite sex. Throughout the years, it has become a social need that deserves some attention.

So, if youre going out on a date for the very first time, youd naturally have some questions in mind. Even if you have gone out on a date before, you may still be entertaining these questions which have been left unanswered by your previous experiences.

Here are five of the most asked questions about dating matters.

Question 1: What should you wear?

The question of proper dressing is best answered by the activity or activities that the particular date would entail. Politely ask your partner what you guys will be doing. Better yet, plan your date together. This would give you an idea of what clothes you should wear that would be appropriate for the occasion.

In the event that your date would want the event to be a surprise, you could simply ask him what you should wear. If he answers, then your worries would be allayed. If he leaves the matter in your hands, you could always enumerate your desired outfit and ask him if such would be appropriate.

In all cases, smart casual dressing would always fit any situation.

Question 2: Should you kiss on a first date?

Some people would say no. Others would say why not? The answer? Its all up to you. Just remember the ramifications of a kiss. Its a way of saying that you like the other party. Should you express such feelings early on, or should you wait until after a few more dates?

The answer isnt written in stone. There are things that depend on the situation and the moment. This is most certainly one of those things.

Question 3: Should you engage in sex on a first date?

This is a rather delicate matter. It depends on your personal and religious beliefs, as well as the specifics of particular situations. The short and sure answer would be no, you should not engage on sex on a first date. But this isnt really a universal position to take. Some people find it acceptable. Others have a variety of concerns. It really depends on what beliefs you adhere to.

There is one rule to follow here, and it is applicable to a wide gamut of relationship issues: if youre in doubt, dont. It is not wrong to follow what you feel for as long as you have studied the ramifications of what youre planning to do. Listen to your reservations, because often, theyre right.

Question 4: Should you tell the other party your feelings on a first date?

By this, we mean the words I love you. Well, its alright to tell your date that you like him or that you enjoyed your time with him. But saying I love you is a profession of strong feelings that would often bind you to another. You have to be sure about what you want to say. I love you are words that, once delivered, would be hard to retract.

Again, if the moment calls for it, and if you know for certain that what you feel is right, then theres nothing wrong with delivering those three words.

Question 5: Should you introduce him or her to your folks immediately?

It depends on how old you are.

If youre in your teenaged years and are living under your parents roof, its a matter of courtesy and respect that you introduce your date to your folks. Also, it is also a safety precaution, so that theyd know where to look for you in case of any eventualities.

If youre living on your own, then it might be more proper to make sure about what youre feeling regarding your date before introducing him or her to your parents. You wont want to introduce a new guy or girl to them every month now, right?

Posted on January 20, 2006 - by Administrator

BETRAYAL, BELOVED

Ten Signs That Your Lover Is Cheating On You

A relationship is founded on trust. What would happen then when that very trust which is the essence of commitment is compromised? Such is the pain of betrayal. It strikes a dagger to our very hearts, as treachery from the person who hold most dear is something that were always afraid of, yet it remains that one thing which we dare not expect.

Suspecting our partners to be cheating on us can make us lose an important component of our lives: peace of mind. Well end up spending countless sleepless nights thinking and fearing the worst. All we need during those times is a guarantee a sign. Whether it is good or bad, it should be better than having to waste countless hours drowning in a sea of uncertainty.

Hence, here are ten signs that could tell you when your lover is actually cheating on your relationship.

1. Is he/she overprotective about his/her mobile phone? It is so easy to cheat on someone in this day and age of modern technology. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it is also easy to catch someone using the very technology that facilitates the betrayal. New generation mobile phones these days do have logs that record the numbers we call and the numbers that contact us. Also, text messaging is becoming very popular these days, and concrete proof of treacherous affections can be discovered by checking the SMS inbox of most phones. Naturally, the person engaged in such a betrayal would dare not show his/her mobile phone for fear of getting caught.

2. Is there a significant decrease in the time he/she allots for you? The body has its limitations. If he/she is all gung ho with the other party, it is expected that he/she will be too tired to give you the attention you expect.

3. Is there a significant decrease in the level of affection he/she is showing you? Simple caresses and gentle kisses that diminish in frequency can be quite telling of a wandering heart. The attention that he/she used to shower you with is most probably spent on someone else.

4. Is he/she usually gone for days under the guise of a business trip or meeting with friends, when he/she never used to pursue such affairs? He/She may be engaged in an affair of another variety, and he/she is merely using seemingly valid reasons as excuses.

5. Do you catch him/her with small lies more often than you could count? Small lies beget bigger lies, and sometimes, small lies can be used to conceal even more dastardly lies. A lie is a lie. Treat it seriously. Once discovered, prepare yourself to unveil more skeletons in his/her closet.

6. Does he/she miss important dates which he/she never used to forget? The human mind also has its limits, and when it focuses on someone else, the memories reserved for us are often left at the backseat.

7. Does he/she fail to call you at appropriate times? It is quite difficult to sneak in a call or some form of communication when he/she is with someone else, right?

8. In the same light, do you often catch him/her sneaking out during a date to place a call? When you do ask him/her about it, he/she would just reason out that it is a call for the boss or some friends? This, also, can be quite telling, especially when he/she does not show such a behavior in the past.

9. Internet affairs are growing in numbers in this day and age. If he/she is spending more time in cyberspace that normal, be wary. Chances are, he/she is exchanging some correspondence with a person he/she is interested with.

10. Does he/she exhibit a short fuse whenever you ask him/her about his/her day? Does he/she suddenly make a big issue about his/her need for privacy, when such was not even a consideration in the past? He/She may be positioning himself/herself to get some space to be able to pursue an affair with another.

Of course, all of these signs can be as simple as personality quirks that we all have to deal with when it comes to our partners. What makes them danger signs is when they are exhibited suddenly, whereas they never even manifested themselves before. Such an immediate shift in personality can be the result of a cheating heart.

Posted on January 11, 2006 - by Administrator

Why Women Cheat

Years ago a woman cheating on her spouse was unheard of but in modern times the number of women who cheat on their spouse is growing exponentially. The differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner. The reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem. These factors may be inexcusable but they do exist in the minds of a cheating woman. More and more women are becoming guilty of cheating on their partners and it is often emotional reasons rather than lust that drive them to these affairs.

Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner. Although it sounds contradictory that they should feel lonely because the women are currently in a relationship, it is often a relationship that is not emotionally fulfilling. Women involved in these unsatisfactory relationships may feel as lonely if not more so than women who are not in a relationship. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair. A partner who becomes overly involved with his work or a hobby may not make time to spend with his partner and this often results in the women feeling as if they are all alone. This feeling of loneliness can drive a woman to cheat on her partner. One of the most prevalent reasons why women cheat is that they feel as though their current partner is not lavishing much attention on them and they feel lonely even in his presence.

Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat. The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them. If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge. The theory of, An eye for an eye, has unfortunately trickled down into the realm of romantic relationships and many women see a cheating partner as a justification to have an affair of their own. They believe that they are justified in having an affair if they catch their partner cheating on them. Furthermore they may be extremely hurt by their partners actions and seek a way to hurt them in the same way. While it is not a justifiable reason, many women see revenge as an appropriate reason for cheating on their spouse.

Boredom may also factor into why women cheat. Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence. They may feel that their relationship has become dull and predictable and rather than trying to bring excitement into their current relationship they may pursue affairs in the hopes of achieving the excitement they felt when they first became involved with their partner. While an affair may bring about a temporary solution of making the woman feel excited about love again it may ultimately destroy both their current relationship as well as their cheating relationship. An affair is exciting not only because it involves a relationship with a new person but also because it involves sneaking around and ultimately getting away with doing something wrong. To many women this is very exciting and they are willing to risk losing their relationship over their affair. Many women cheat because they are bored with the monotony of their current relationship and they seek to bring excitement back into their life through engaging in an affair.

Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self esteem. Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable. When a relationship meets a stagnant point where the partners are no longer making a conscious effort to reassure each other that they are still desirable, many women begin to feel insecure. This insecurity leads women to seek affirmation of their desirability outside of the relationship in the form of an affair. Being found desirable by another compensates for the lack of longing they feel from their partner and helps to boost their self esteem. While women with a healthy self esteem are more apt to remain happy in a relationship, those that lack self esteem are often driven to cheat on their partners.

Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners. It is becoming more and more common for women to be guilty of cheating. While women are beginning to cheat as often as men the reasons why women cheat are much different than the reasons why men cheat. The reasons for women cheating are tied tightly to emotional reasons such as loneliness, revenge and boredom.

Posted on January 10, 2006 - by Administrator

Why Men Cheat

The reasons why men cheat in a relationship are often different than the reasons why women cheat. A mans reason for cheating can encompass a wide variety of reasons including genetics, a sense of challenge, self esteem and a lack of interest in their current relationship. While none are justifiable all of these can be reasons why a man chooses to stray and cheat on his current partner.

Although genetics may factor into why men cheat on their partner it may also just be a week defense for a man who is caught in his unfaithful actions. A theory exists that testosterone levels in men make them more susceptible to infidelity. This theory is based on the hypothesis that men are genetically predisposed to cheating because they are ingrained with the notion that the survival of the species is dependent on their procreation. While this may be true it is certainly not an excuse for unfaithfulness in our age of overpopulation. It may be true that in prehistoric times, men were tasked with populating the earth this is certainly not true today and is not a defensible excuse for cheating on your partner. The truth is that in a truly loving relationship a man should be able to control himself and remain faithful despite any hormonal urges to produce offspring. The theory of man being predisposed to cheating does not hold water because while it may be true, there is no excuse for not being able to quell these urges.

Another reason men cheat is because they feel a sense of challenge in their infidelity. Actually being able to get away with an affair is a challenge that men enjoy. Additionally they enjoy the challenge of finding other women with which to cheat. To them the affair is more about the conquest then anything else. Sure they may enjoy the physicality of the affair, but the pursuit and sneaking around is what really drives men who cheat on their partners. They see fooling their partner as a tremendous accomplishment and they enjoy the logistics of orchestrating the affair without their partner learning of their transgressions. To them the thrill of sneaking around and the fear of being caught creates and adrenaline rush that is more important than the affair or even their current relationship. Men also cheat because they are driven by competition. If there friends are single or cheating on their partners and often have affairs with several women the man may feel that he needs to keep up with his friends. To these men affairs become a way of competing with their friends. Infidelity in men is often driven by a sense of competition.

Many men also engage in affairs because doing so is an ego boost for them. The knowledge that they can find multiple women willing to engage in an intimate relationship with them is a tremendous self esteem builder for some men. They take pride in the ability to attract women and dont care about the fact that doing so may destroy their relationship. To these men the excitement of the chase is almost more important than the conquest. Sometimes just knowing that other women find them desirable, is enough to stroke the ego of these men. In general it is a lack of self esteem on their part that drives them to seek out affairs in order to reiterate their attractiveness and desirability.

A man who is in an undesirable relationship may also be driven to cheat on their partner. If the relationship has begun to wane and the man no longer feels the same attraction to his partner he may seek out an affair out of boredom. If he feels his current relationship is lacking excitement he may also be driven to cheat in the hopes that he will find the excitement he desires elsewhere. While the wise thing may be to end the deteriorating relationship in search of a new more desirable partner, many men opt to hold onto the current relationship and engage in affairs. This may be because they fear that they may not find what they are looking for and may be left lonely and without a partner so they hold onto the failing relationship figuring that a bad relationship is better than none at all.

Men cheat for a variety of reasons. While none of these reasons may be justified, they do exist. The reasons that men cheat include genetics, competition, self esteem and boredom. In general while genetics may play a small part in the urge for men to cheat the majority of cheating takes place because men cannot control their sexual and competitive urges, are lacking in self esteem or are unhappy in their current relationship.

Posted on January 9, 2006 - by Administrator

Why Communication Breaks Down

One of the most crucial elements in any relationship is communication and when communication breaks down its imperative that you find out the cause of the breakdown so that you can try to fix the problem before it destroys the relationship. Communication can break down in a relationship for a variety of reasons including the birth of a baby, financial strains and distrust in the relationship. Regardless of the cause of the communication break down, it is vital to the health of the relationship to reopen the lines of communication.

While the birth of a couples first child may be a glorious and blessed event that they were both looking forward to, the arrival of a new baby may put strains on the relationship. Specifically there may be a communication break down after the babys birth. There are a number of reasons why communication breaks down after the birth of a baby. The addition of a new element into the relationship that previously included just the two partners can be stressful. While they dont begrudge the attention that their partner lavishes on the new baby it does take an adjustment period to deal with the fact that they no longer have their partners undivided attention. As the couple learns to balance their time and ensure that both their partner and their child are receiving enough of their attention, there may be a period where the stress of making this adjustment causes a break down in communication. Also, typically the birth of a baby leads to a complete change of schedule as well as a stretch of sleep deprivation for the couple. While the couple may have previously been used to doing things as they please, they now realize that most activities must be planned around the babys schedule which is often unpredictable. This new scheduled coupled with the lack of sleep that typically plagues new parents can put a great deal of pressure on the relationship. To avoid this type of communication break down it is important for the couple to realize that they need to allot time to spend with the baby and also with each other. They also need to realize that the sleep deprivation is affecting them both and take turns getting up with the baby. These few simple steps can go a long way in reversing or preventing a communication break down. Although a new couple loves their new baby, the challenge of adapting to the babys schedule can be one reason why communication breaks down in a relationship and it is up to the couple to ensure that their relationship does not suffer a communication break down.

A concern over financial matters is another reason why communication breaks down. Struggling with financial issues can be extremely stressful for either one or both partners in a relationship. If one partner typically handles the finances in a relationship they may not wish to worry their partner so they may struggle internally with the financial concerns. While this is a noble gesture, it can also cause a communication break down in the relationship. The one partner may feel that this is a burden they need to bear on their own and therefore avoid talking about the subject with their partner. The problem with this is that in trying to avoid conversations regarding finances they may end up avoiding conversations all together. For example, a conversation about where to go out to dinner may be avoided because thinking about spending too much money on leisure activities causes too much anxiety on one of the partners. The partner who is unaware of the financial concerns may be offended by their partners avoidance of a simple conversation. One way to avoid or reverse having a communication break down over finances is to share the responsibility of the finances and openly discuss concerns over financial matters. Doing this will ensure that neither partner becomes consumed by financial matters and allows it to affect the relationship. Finances can induce enough stress to destroy even the most secure relationships by causing a communication break down but planning ahead and speaking openly about finances can help a couple to avoid a communication break down.

Distrust is another factor that can affect communication in a relationship. If one of the partners has a reason to be suspicious of the other it creates a distrust that directly affects communication. Also, if one person has a reason to feel guilty in a relationship, it may result in a break down in communication. This lack of trust or guilt often results in the couple not wanting to communicate either because they dont want to have their suspicions confirmed or because they dont want their secret to be revealed. These feelings of suspicion or guilt may lead to strained conversations that are purposefully not very meaningful. One way to avoid a break down in communication in this situation is to always be upfront with your partner. Whether its suspicion or guilt that is driving your fear of communication, being honest with your partner will alleviate your fears and reopen the lines of communication. You run the risk of having your suspicions confirmed but its better to be sure than to destroy your relationship while doubt remains.

Since open and honest communication is critical to a healthy relationship, its important to understand why communication breaks down and work to avoid a break down in communication. Having an understanding of the causes of communication break down will help you to either avoid or reverse this situation. Maintaining or restoring communication can ensure that a relationship endures and thrives.

Posted on January 2, 2006 - by Administrator

Whats Up With Relationship Coaches?

A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential. A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship. Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple. This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship.

The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couples complaints about the relationship. While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation. It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process. Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach. Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship. Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area. In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement.

After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couples relationship through observation. They may come into the couples lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts. This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couples self assessment of their relationship is accurate. The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couples perception. While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couples relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period. If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts.

Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas. The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed. These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise. These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship. While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises wont help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try.
Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship. The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship. The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship. If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they wont be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship. The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship.

Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations. It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems. If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.