Archive for February, 2006

Posted on February 21, 2006 - by Administrator

On Finding Mister Right

Indeed, women outnumber men, 3 to 1. With this ratio, there are not that many guys running around. But this shouldnt mean that women should settle for the first guy they would see. The rule is: always strive to find your ideal mate. There are qualities that you should look for, and these would ensure a happy, fruitful, and fulfilling relationship.

Here are some virtues that the right man must possess:

1. Chivalry is not dead. Every woman wants to be treated like a queen and a guy who still opens doors and pulls up the chair for you is most guaranteed to treat you nice and take good care of you.

2. Look at how he treats the girls in his family and it will give you a glimpse of how he will treat you. If he treats his sisters and mother kind and well, and has a great deal of respect for them, it is likely that you will be treated well and respected too.

3. Choose a guy who isnt afraid to look un-macho. This means that he is secure of himself and will understand your feelings, as he can also be in touch with what we call that feminine side of his. He isnt afraid to show his emotions so both of you can be more open to one another about each others feelings. Make sure he can control his emotions though. You dont want a guy who cries more often than you do or breaks down before you do.

4. Go for a man with an ambition, or a passion. You would know that he has a certain drive and this can lead him to succeed. This assures you that he can take charge and take responsibility, and provide well for you and your family. Choose one who isnt easily defeated or pessimistic about the things that come his way.

5. Find a man who is confident and knows how to carry himself. He doesnt try too hard to look the part but he simply tries to be presentable and charming enough. This wont make you dread that time when you have to introduce him to your family and friends.

6. Find a man who can make you laugh! Life will no doubt badger you with different trials and problems. Though it is important for you to be with someone who has to be serious enough to deal with all these, it is just as important to have someone who can take your mind away from all of it. Laughing is also a very wonderful feeling that leaves you optimistic and ready to take on anything. Plus you are sure to enjoy a lifetime with this person and not become bored.

7. It is ideal that you and your man share the same values. This way, if ever you encounter problems, you can avoid conflicts stemming from drastically different perspectives. In addition, a guy must be open-minded too.

8. Make sure that he also intellectually stimulates you and can keep up his end of the conversation. This keeps you on edge, apart from the attraction you have for each other. Plus youll never get bored with a man who constantly feeds your mind.

9. Do everything you can think of to test whether he is faithful to you or not. Loyalty is very important to women and for most of us, love equates to trust. If this is a problem, you can be sure that the relationship will crumble into pieces.

10. Lastly, he must have a great tolerance level for you. You can be experiencing PMS and all hell can break loose. Therefore, find a man who understands you as a woman and one who will still patiently love you.

Posted on February 15, 2006 - by Administrator

On Finding Miss Right

Relationships fail because of your wrong choice of partner. Not that your partner would prove imperfect, mind you, but the synergy between you and her might not be healthy enough to carry what should be a healthy relationship. Your choice of partner should be guided by what would complement your expectations best. These qualities should be known beforehand, so that you may know what to look for in a woman before you even start dating.

Here is a sample list of things to look for in Miss Right.

1. Find a woman who will take good care of you, but will also let herself be taken cared of. Especially in this day and age when even women are focused with their own careers, it would still be nice to find a woman who can find the time to take care of you and your family. A woman basically knows how to nurture and care for others. To know that this wont be neglected once you are in the relationship is most comforting. However, she must also let you take care of her. Some women tend to take the nurturing role to the point of being a martyr. Make sure she doesnt do this because this is potentially damaging not only to her but also to the relationship and, if ever, your family. With men struggling to be true to the role of provider and protector, a woman must let a man do his part. This will further boost a mans confidence as this shows how the woman is certain that the man he loves is worthy of her vulnerability.

2. Choose a woman who can be independent and is fairly confident. No man needs a clingy creature, sometimes to the point of being an irritating nag, to keep him on a choke hold. A woman who knows her own strengths, uses her head and voices out her opinions is very much attractive. After all, you are looking for a partner in life, and not a baby. You need someone who you will treat as an equal, whom you respect, and in turn, will respect you. She also has to be able to downplay her insecurities and be able to resolve them, by accepting that she is imperfect, but she is a jewel as well. She must know how to stand on her own and be able to be happy and have fun even without you.

3. Make sure that she also intellectually stimulates you and can keep up her end of the conversation. The bimbo image will no longer result to lasting relationships. This keeps you on edge, apart from the attraction you have for each other. Plus youll never get bored with a woman who constantly feeds your mind.

4. If a girl can be comfortable around the people around you, whether they be your beer buddies, business partners or your own family, then you will definitely enjoy her company. More importantly, if she wins the thumbs up of friends and family, then you can be sure she can stay with you for a very long time.

5. Whether you take a girl to eat at a hotdog stand or you take her to the fanciest restaurant, if she isnt bothered about what she eats or where she is but she can act as if she belongs in that place, then congratulations! You have found a girl you will never be ashamed of. She enjoys the simple treats you give her and she can also enjoy an elegant setting, without you having to constantly point out which silverware she has to use. She would also know how to relate to people of different social standing.

6. Find a woman who can trust you (assuming of course that you are worthy of that trust). A woman being jealous every now and then is acceptable, but dealing with constant paranoia? Not good. Just make sure that you will never ever break her trust because you can be sure she will never make you forget it.

7. It is rare to find a woman who truly understands a man: his need for space, constant ego boosts and his pride. So at least, find a woman who would be willing to understand, and would not constantly complain. Not only will this give you less headaches, you will feel less likely to just push each other way to avoid conflict.

8. She accepts you for who you are. And I mean everything about you, including the fact that you can be icky at times. You might smell bad, get a big beer belly, sweat a lot or snore so loudly, she would still stay, love you and still consider you her prince charming.

9. Lastly, she provides motivation and inspiration to you. This alone is an indication that she is Ms. Right. No wonder how cheesy it sounds, with her around, it makes you want to be a better man.

Posted on February 12, 2006 - by Administrator

Moving On After A Breakup

The breakdown of a relationship is not an easy matter to deal with. Its bad enough that you have to let go of a person you love, its even worse that you were caught off guard and is the one being dumped. You coop yourself up inside your bedroom, refuse to talk with your friends, and cry like youve never cried before. Or if youre the resilient type, after a brief crying session, you hook up with friends and party like theres no tomorrow. People might have different ways of coping with a relationship breakdown, but basically, you go through the same process of mourning, acceptance, and moving on.

First of all, allow yourself to mourn your loss. Letting out a good cry would be a good release for the confusing mix of pain, anger, or longing that you might be feeling at the moment. Seek out a friend who would be willing to listen to you unload your emotional burden. Or you may opt to take this time all to yourself.

As they say, after the storm comes the sun. Its time to get out of your foxhole. Start the healing process by accepting the fact that the relationship has ended. Make an affirmation of this reality by facing the mirror and telling yourself that everything will be okay from now on, the way you would tell a friend the same thing. But do be honest with yourself and do not deprive yourself of a good cry on occasional bouts of depression.

Acceptance does not mean that you have to blame somebody, even yourself, for the fallout. The relationship is over, and no amount of blame or finger pointing would make you feel any better. Doing so would only force you to put the blame on either one of you, seeing the whole thing in a negative viewpoint, and keeping you from moving forward.

Do not let a failed relationship scar you for life. Move on. Buoy yourself up. Start loving yourself again. Go out with friends, or spend more time with your family. Take that dream vacation youve been putting off for some time now. Buy yourself a good book, a great dress, or the latest DVD movie. In short, start living your life anew.

Sooner or later, breakups would pave the way to new relationships for you and your ex. Prep yourself up for the eventuality of seeing him or herself with someone else. In case you do, you might be surprised to feel stabs of jealousy when you thought all along that you have already moved on. Suppress, but do acknowledge the feeling because it is normally a part of your healing process.

Do you have to get rid of the gifts, pictures and other things that would remind you, in any way, of your ex? While it may give you a physical closure, doing so would not necessarily put up a stamp of finality to your past. Keep those things for a while, and decide on what to do with it later.

If you do start dating, make sure that you know what your intentions are. Are you ready for another relationship? Or are you going out for friendly dates for now? At this point, it would be fairly easy to fall into that love-on-the-rebound trap. If you do get to know someone, on friendly terms or more, be sure that you know your own intentions right from the start.

Relationships do not have to end in bitter terms. Save your friendship, or at least be civil to your ex. Its a small world and sooner or later, you would bump into each other again. And that does not discount the possibility of rekindling your relationship with him or her in the future.

Posted on February 6, 2006 - by Administrator

WAITING FOR THE ONE?

Most Dating Myths Are False

Theres no such thing as a fairytale romance. You wont leave your glass slippers somewhere. And you dont have to wait for the proverbial Prince Charming to seek you out and try if the shoe would fit. Throughout the years, many romance myths have been formulated, conditioning our minds to accept that love is worthy of all the commercialized holidays designed to capitalize on the same. Love has been glorified with so much grandeur in tales and movies and popular culture. This, of course, created some problems. Often do people view love as magical, and often does it fail to live up to its hype. People were led to believe in fantastic stories waiting to be told, and seldom would they be able to prepare themselves for eventual tragedies that would be suffered along the way.

Below are some false beliefs about romance. With this article, it is hoped that they would be demystified so that we may realize what love truly is.

* Theres no such thing as destiny. You cannot simply wait for the one whom fate has planned for you. Its an ages old argument. Once you believe in destiny, you believe in predestination. This renders the concept of free will as moot. The decisions you make on a daily basis wont matter, since everything is preordained. Thus is the danger of this dating myth. Believing in destiny and reveling as it unfolds may look good on the silver screen, but in reality, it could produce some disastrous effects. You would need a positive act and whole lot of adjustments to find the right partner. You dont wait for destiny. Rather, you forge your own tale.

* Theres no such thing as a soul mate. Though most spiritual schools of thought do not preclude this idea, they do not promote it as well. Kindred spirits are the stuff of historical romance novels. Time is temporal as it is relative. Love does not endure the ages. It is something we should savor, and care for, while we are alive. After all, how could we breathe affection if we dont have any more breath to take?

* Theres no such thing as the perfect partner. Perfection is a quality that mortals are deprived of. Imperfection is in fact the very essence of our humanity. Its the reason we strive. Its the reason why we try to make ourselves better persons. Its the reason why we constantly try to improve ourselves. Looking for the perfect partner is an exercise in futility. Even if you find the person most compatible to your own personality, some situations would call for some conflict, one way or another. Its because no two persons are ever alike, and with differences come misunderstandings. The trick is in how we work out these differences to strengthen our relationships.

* To say that love is unconditional would be nave. Its all about what is good for us. Though we may find someone for whom we could pledge our life, theres no use sticking with such a relationship when it becomes unhealthy. Believing in the unselfishness of love has brought about many social ills. Domestic violence is tolerated because of a strong adherence to such a fallacious principle. Verbal abuse is dismissed as nothing for the same reason. If a relationship is good for you, stick with it. Fight for it. But the moment it becomes harmful, leave immediately. Sacrificing yourself for the person you love entails the right reasons. Tolerating abuse is not, and should not, be one of them.

* You dont look for love, love will find you. Though this isnt exactly a false statement, it does have its shares of problems. It promotes non-action and idleness, when a more active lifestyle is what is needed to better our chances of finding an ideal mate. Indeed, you dont have to look for love. It will strike your heart eventually. But you should not sit still and wait for love to find you. Be visible and social, and you would be able to greatly expedite the process.

Posted on February 4, 2006 - by Administrator

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Many people claim that one of the biggest obstacles that work against what should be a healthy relationship is distance. Being physically apart is hard enough, what more when a couple has to contend with thousands of miles between them? He or she may be in another state, or worse, in another country. And this can cause some problems for people who, by nature, need some affection and care.

But if love can move mountains and could make us reach and grab the stars or swim the seven seas if love can cause the building of strong empires and the destruction of formidable ones if love does conquer everything then what is distance? Surely, its something that love true love that is can easily deal with, right?

If you are currently engaged in a long distance relationship, then here are some things you might want to consider to make it work. Indeed, a long distance relationship CAN work, and it CAN prove to the world that love, truly, knows no boundaries.

* Trust. Trust is an essential component of a healthy and lasting relationship. You just have to believe in your partner that he or she would do the right thing. Trust becomes doubly important when he or she is in a faraway land. Dont allow yourself to drown in a sea of uncertainty every night, thinking about his or her treacherous tendencies. You have to believe in him or her. You have to believe in the love you guys share. Without trust, a relationship would easily crumble.

* Honesty. Just because your partner is many miles away, such shouldnt mean that you could start being dishonest. Honesty begins with you. Share with your partner the events of your day. Tell him or her about your thoughts and ideas about certain matters. Never embellish your stories, nor should you deliberately leave out important details. The things you would share many not always be happy news, but you have to be honest. They may be painful, they may be depressing, but though ignorance is bliss, your partner deserves to know. Once you have practiced this, your partner would do the same for you. How could he or she not? An honest disposition deserves the same honesty as reward.

* Keep the communication channels open. A decade ago, long distance relationships suffered because of the dearth of communication channels. Couples situated as such were only left with snail mails and expensive phone calls. These days, technology has made things easier for people engaged in long distance relationships. Not only can they exchange instantaneous emails, they could also chat in real time through the internet. Also, voice and video correspondence has been made possible by the same technology. And if these arent enough, long distance couples can also resort to their mobile phones. Most telecommunication providers over SMS or text messaging, which is quite an affordable way of keeping in touch with a loved on who is far away.

* Set a date for your actual meeting. Lets face it. We can live with long distance relationships because we know they wont last forever. There will come a time when he or she has to move in with you, or vice versa. Set a specific date for such an occasion. Make this your goal. This would give you something to look forward to, and it would help you deal with the loneliness that may be caused by excessive yearning for the person you hold dear in your heart.

* Do something special for each other. Just because youre miles apart doesnt mean that youre left with no recourse but to keep your affections in check. You could express those affections in a variety of ways. Send a video or an audio package which the other can listen to during those lonely spells. But him or her a shirt or an item that would always remind him or her of you. Write him or her an actual, tangible letter that he or she could read before going to bed. With the many courier services plying their trade in this day and age, deliveries can be effectuated fast and conveniently.

Long distance relationships dont always have to end in tears. You could make it work, or as long as both parties have their hearts in the right place.